2 weeks in 1

Sorry I missed last week but I'm sure you'll all agree that really the only two things worth bringing up from last week are:
1. Brad got rid of 2 drama queens in one mighty swoop...see ya manscaper and psycho blonde---it was a good decision.
2. Michelle???---Did you turn 30 last week? I missed that (enter major sarcasm)---seriously--get over it. Guess what I did for my 30th? Oh that's right...I was recovering from giving BIRTH!!! So please...just shut it. You get to be on TV on an all expenses paid adventure for your 3oth---you total NUT BALL! I can't stand that chick (but more on her in this week's recap)

So...on to this week...
1st date---Uh...I really have nothing mean to say about his first impression rose pick Ashley. She seems sweet and nice and there seems to be nothing drama about her. I like that. The only question that I'm left with is---Heidi Klum is married to Seal?!?! I don't think I'll ever quite understand that mystery. But hey...more power to ya.

Group date--Michelle annoys me to the total brink of insanity...she's really killing me. You know what else is annoying??? That every season they do a "movie scene" as if it's an original idea! Come on...it's so stupid! But...I do agree that the funeral director Chantel deserved the rose. She kicked butt on set (literally)!

2nd date with America's favorite, Emily--I really like her. It took her a while to put herself out there but to me, that shows maturity. She's also incredibly sweet and there is this presence about her that just makes everyone else look stupid. I think that chick said it best (I'm not sure which one it was but it went something like this) "She's this mini Barbie with a soul like Mother Teresa". I hope it works out for her...whether it's with Brad or someone else.

THE THERAPIST VISIT---
OMG---what the heck is that crap about? Really? WE GET IT BRAD---You're on the road to self discovery. You've mentioned you're in therapy like once or twice---but that total time waster was so ridiculous! I forwarded right through it. I so love DVR!!!!

Okay some surprises-
1. I can't believe it...but Fangs actually became very likable to me during this episode. I was really sad to see her go. BUT---really...how do you compete with the Emily's of the world.?--I know she said that she can't stand the thought of taking someone's spot who really has their heart out on their sleeve and although that might be true--I bet she did fear rejection. Whatever it is--her choice was a good one. She may not have found love with Brad, but she at least left the show claiming back the dignity she sooooo lost night one! Good luck Fangs. You'll find you're man out there---and when you do...please please leave the fangs for your kinky bedroom shenanigans.
2. I can't believe he kept Michelle...I'm sure he's got to be a tad annoyed with her. She's annoyed everyone else!
3. I'm liking the other non-funeral director Chantel at the moment...not sure why---but she's okay for the moment.
4. Does anyone out there really still wear anything but waterproof mascara? Come on REJECTED girl at the end...what cheap Wet and Wild mascara are you wearing?

I guess that about covers it--tune in next week.

Don't forget...stop and smell the roses,
Lindaffodil

Episode One...let's meet the gals.

Welcome back crazy Bachelor Fanatics! Only true fans would continue to watch this train wreck of a show that can't even think of a new idea so they bring back a dude who failed the first time...
So my friends... before we officially begin, I need to set a couple things straight.

First off, I feel it's only fair that I put this out there for all the readers so that I might be cut a little slack. A lot has changed in Lin-daffodile's world. I now have 2 kiddos and life is unpredictable. The nights of predictable bed times and routines is SOOOO OVER...so bare with me on the timeliness of this thing-a-ma-jig.
Secondly, I don't work anymore so...my access to a computer is not quite as "in your face" so...forgive me if my blog isn't ready for viewing first thing Tuesday morning. Priorities..you know.
And finally---because my quiet house might quickly turn to a crying house...I might have to make these puppies short.

AND NOW...for the real reason you're reading this. Let's get this party started baby!

General thoughts and concerns:
1. Okay...I never watched the Brad season so I really don't hate the guy at all. What's wrong with the fact that he didn't pick a chick that he obviously didn't love at the end? If he didn't love them...he didn't pick them...sheesh. Would pulling a Jake Pavelblah been better? Let me pick an ididot that is soooo wrong for me and then let's break up 2 weeks later. I respect you Brad...well..I did until you agreed to do this again.

2. However, therapy or not (he did say he went to therapy, right?--or did I imagine he said it oh I don't know...a ZILLION times---we get it!)...what kind of guy would do this again? I never watched take one of the Mack but I do remember the macklash (heh heh heh) so seriously, this fool must be a glutton for pain and suffering. Of course he'll pick someone in the end THIS TIME...but that won't guarantee squat.

3. Was it really necessary to have the two rejected women come back for an apology? Oh pah-lese...we saw their sparkling diamonds...they've moved on and so have we and that was just cheesiness! In fact...
"You're breaking my heart!...You all feel good about that?"
--- Deanna Papas, Bachelorette season 4?

Now let's talk about these gals. Oh these gals...it's kind of a blur already isn't it? Sooo many...too many... so let's just talk about the memorable ones. I'm sure I'm missing something...but it really was too many and when they all have the same conversation with Brad about how much he's changed and how he's been in intense therapy---they all start to become one pathetic person.

• Fangs--The fact that she stayed night one---tells me Brad's therapy was the biggest waste of money known to man! So not sexy...so not mysterious...just plan stupid. You heard of Fandango....well I say...Fang-go-home! He's not ready to get married and settle down if he chose her to stay. Seriously, you can see your unborn children in that psycho's eyes? (Yes, I did kinda just quote a Bryan Adams song)--no you can't so either you were put up to keeping her around (which is what I suspect) or your therapy isn't working.
• Rockett--Uh ...I think I saw your who ha...way to leave NOTHING to the imagination.
• That pretty mom---not the tragedy one but the other mom---that crazy animal print dress tells me she's probably an animal herself---and what does that mean to a non-animal person like me? It means I don't like her. Don't know why yet...but I'm sure she won't be a person I like.
• Manscaper--Love it...not sure I love her for him....but it was funny to watch her in action.
• Blonde mom with a sob story--I'll admit it...she has my vote. I'm a sucker for happy endings and well...when I heard about little Ricky...well...she got the Linda vote. (which means nothing if you've read my other blogs...my prediction of winning streaks officially ended with DWTS--when Misty May ruined my 8 year run. GRRRRRR)
• That chick that kept trying to get some alone time with him--did she make it to the next round?? All I know, is she defined the word PATHETIC. Give it up already.
• The first impression chick-- I liked her but that whole, "If you just need a friend to escape to during this whole thing" line- made me throw up a little.

That's about all I can offer tonight. I will be watching and I do see that this season will deliver what I so need...TRASH and CHEESE! Bring it baby!!!

I'll be mack...I mean back!

Lin-daffodil